Emma's Story

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Emma* describes the physical and psychological abuse she endured from her brother and shares what has helped her to heal.

What happened?

"The most intense instance of my brother's abuse towards me was when we were 15 years old. He was incredibly angry and was threatening to stab my mom and I with a knife. He was holding the knife in his hand, screaming how he wanted to kill us. He stabbed the front door with the knife and I called the police. He went to juvenile hall for 24 days.

I was made to feel guilty for protecting myself.

"No one advocated for me as the victim. When he returned home, no one asked if I felt safe. The police never followed up with me about my experience. My mom blamed me for him going to the detention center, that it was my fault for calling the police. I was made to feel guilty for protecting myself.

"For years before and after this incident my brother emotionally and physically abused me. He would berate me and use slurs against my queer identity, transphobic and racial slurs were used towards my husband as well. His emotional abuse extended for years after I moved out, utilizing social media and phone calls to threaten or harass me endlessly when I posted something he didn't like. He was the first person I was afraid of, and I am no contact with him to this day. My mom does not acknowledge or take accountability for the abuse she allowed to continue in the home"

How did it impact your well-being and relationships with others?

"My mother constantly enabled my brother and did not step in to stop the abuse. My parents did not believe the seriousness of what I was telling them, even after he threatened me with a weapon. No one asked if I was safe, no one cared if I wanted him back in the home.

"I became incredibly distant with both my parents and moved away from home as soon as I turned 18. I am no contact with my mother now as well. This has also taken a huge toll on my relationship with my husband as he has also been victim to my brother's harassment. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD because of my experiences and I am constantly working to heal myself."

Advice for others

"Talking about sibling abuse is very difficult as many people do not believe the severity. However talking to my friends and going to therapy helps. My best recommendation is to find PTSD resources and therapist who specialize in PTSD and exposure therapy to help heal the trauma from sibling abuse."

 

Need Help?

211 Hotline
Mental health resources for yourself or someone you care about:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or chat online:

Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer crisis counselor or visit

RAINN
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or chat via

Stop It Now! Helpline
Anyone with questions or concerns about child sex abuse: call 1.888.PREVENT or visit

SAARA Resources:

 

*All names are pseudonyms to protect the privacy of those who share their stories with us.

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