Anna's Story
Anna* discusses how the physical and psychological abuse she experienced from her sister and her parents' lack of response shaped her self-worth and family relationships.
What happened?
"There were some very obviously abusive incidents, like the time she pushed me down a staircase, or the many times she encouraged me — a clinically depressed teenager — to commit suicide... but most of it was more insidious than that. She regularly belittled and humiliated and dehumanized me. She used physical intimidation (and sometimes violence) to control me. She went out of her way to make a show of not listening any time I spoke at family dinners or outings, as if nothing I had to say was even remotely worthwhile. She made me feel small and insignificant, and I was terrified of her."
How did it impact your well-being and relationships with others?
"I often felt completely isolated from my family. My sister was very calculated and cunning in her abuse in a way that rarely left me with any proof of what she'd done. My parents wouldn't know who to believe, so they wouldn't do anything. I was often told to 'ignore her,' as if that were a viable option... how could I ignore the person who lived 20ft from where I slept? I became the 'difficult' child and had a very strained relationship with my mother for several years."
Advice for others
"If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell her that her feelings and fears were valid, that the way she was being treated was neither normal nor deserved. Most importantly I would try to find a way to drill it into her head that she is not a bad or worthless person, that the things my sister said and did to me — and my parents failure to protect me — is a reflection on them, not me."
Need Help?
211 Hotline
Mental health resources for yourself or someone you care about:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or chat online:
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer crisis counselor or visit
RAINN
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or chat via
Stop It Now! Helpline
Anyone with questions or concerns about child sex abuse: call 1.888.PREVENT or visit
SAARA Resources:
- Tips for Choosing a Therapist to Treat Harmful Sibling Dynamics
- Resources for Professionals and Parents to Improve Sibling Relationships
*All names are pseudonyms to protect the privacy of those who share their stories with us.
