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Aging doesn’t take away the desire for sex — in fact, many older adults still see it as an essential part of romantic relationships, according to new �鶹app research. 

A study led by , assistant professor of human development and family studies, challenges long-standing assumptions about aging and intimacy. Published in The , the research examines how single adults ages 60–83 think about sex, dating, and relationships — including the expectations, desires, and concerns they bring to romantic connections — finding that many remain actively interested in both well into later life. 

With people living longer, rising divorce rates among adults over 50, shifting marriage patterns, and widowhood, there is a growing — and understudied — population of single adults over 65 in the dating pool, according to Harris.  

“We just have more single older adults today than we’ve ever had before,” Harris says. “Historically, someone might be widowed or divorced later in life and be single for five or 10 years. Now they could be single for 30 years, and that changes how we think about relationships and partnering.”  

Lauren Harris

Harris conducted in-depth phone interviews with 100 single men and women (50 each) ages 60 to 83 who were using online dating platforms. The data was analyzed in collaboration with Celia Melanson '24, now a graduate student in UNH's marriage and family therapy program, who has worked with Harris since her undergraduate years. 

The researchers found that sex remained a top priority, with 97 respondents saying that sex was very important in a romantic relationship. Additionally, 72 participants (36 men and 36 women) said they would not pursue a relationship that didn’t include sexual activity, with some describing not having sex as a “dealbreaker.”  

“Many of the people I spoke with said a relationship without sex felt more like a friendship — and they already had plenty of friends,” Harris says. “One participant told me, ‘If I were looking for a relationship without sex, I’d just spend time with my buddies golfing, fishing, or hanging out. I already have that.’ What they were seeking instead was romance and physical connection. For many, a relationship without sexual intimacy simply wasn’t something they were interested in pursuing.”  

Another misconception the research challenges is the idea that physical changes associated with aging act as a barrier to intimacy. Instead, Harris found participants were open-minded about finding ways to remain sexually connected. 

“We often assume sex means intercourse, but many participants described a much broader understanding of intimacy,” Harris says. “While aging can introduce physical challenges, respondents were clear that those changes didn’t end their interest in sexuality. Instead, they talked about adapting — whether through medical support, redefining intimacy, or adjusting expectations around frequency or intensity. They weren’t discouraged by aging bodies.”  

While interest in intimacy remains strong, older adults do face unique challenges in the dating pool, according to Harris. For example, prior research has shown that limited access to partners can restrict sexual opportunities for older adults, especially for women, who statistically outnumber single men in older age groups.  

Harris says understanding this understudied population matters on multiple fronts. For younger generations, it helps reshape expectations about aging and demonstrates that sexuality can remain an important part of life across the lifespan. 

Greater awareness can also help normalize conversations about sexual health and improve health outcomes. As sexual activity among older adults increases, so do associated risks — sexually transmitted infections are rising in this age group, and conversations between patients and healthcare providers often lag behind reality. 

“Medical professionals and older adults need to get on the same page that sex is happening,” Harris says. “That means talking about medications, heart conditions, and other health factors that can affect sexual activity — whether that’s managing risks or understanding how intimacy contributes to overall well-being. My goal is to normalize sexual experiences across the life course and show that sex lives can remain satisfying, varied, enjoyable, and safe.”