The goal isn’t to get rid of stress but rather to get better at stress.
Stress is a natural part of living a life of meaning. Health & Wellness provides wellness coaching, educational programs, and stress relief services to help you courageously turn towards and move through your stress.

Wellness Coaching
Wellness coaching uses a forward-looking framework to help you relate to your stress in skillful and helpful ways so that you can use it to experience growth and get better at stress. Wellness coaching empowers you to:
- Boost motivation: Instead of feeling overwhelmed by stress, you learn to understand its connection to what is important to you.
- Increase confidence: As you take small, manageable actions, you build momentum and belief in your ability to turn towards and move through your stress.
- Get unstuck: The wellness coaching process helps you identify the patterns holding you back and develop a clear path forward with existing and new skills.
- Find relief: Understanding and befriending your stress response will help you experience a sense of calm.
Appointments
- All Confidential
- Available to UNH students who have paid their tuition/fees.
- Make an appointment online or by calling (603) 862-3823.
NOTE: Wellness coaching doesn't treat mental illnesses, such as anxiety or depression. If you're seeking treatment for mental illness, contact at (603) 862-2090 or you can make an appointment with a clinician at Health & Wellness online or by calling (603) 862-2856. If you are living with a managed mental illness, you can benefit from the wellness coaching model.
The Meaning of Stress Program
Stress is a natural part of human experience. Transforming our relationship with stress can generate energy and motivation, allowing us to skillfully address it rather than avoid it. This program helps participants understand the causes and manifestations of their stress, enabling them to utilize effective coping skills. Participants will also learn about emotions using the Mood Meter and practice mindfulness techniques.
Request the program here for your student organization, group, class, department.
Lifetime Activity Program (LAP): Wellness
We offer an 8-week, 2-credit course taught each semester by our well-being educator/counselor in collaboration with the . The class uses a well-being framework to cope with stress. You’ll learn about your wellness and how to utilize self-compassion, boundaries, values, and strengths to move towards your personalized wellness vision.
Additional Services
- Weekly guided meditation
- Weekly Paws & Relax pet therapy
*Due to limited staffing, we don’t accept requests for the therapy dogs to come to your event/class - Monthly Yoga Nidra
- Wellness events/workshops
- Light therapy
The goal isn’t to get rid of stress, but rather to get better at stress.
Stress Defined
- You can’t avoid stress.
- If you are living a life of meaning and working towards your goals, you will experience stress.
- Stress arises when something you care about is at stake.
- Stress is a physiological experience that arises in the whole body.
- Stress can be good by giving us the energy and focus needed to accomplish goals.
- Stress left untreated can decrease overall emotional wellness.
What is currently causing you stress? Are your stressors things you care about?
Stress and Mental Health
We all have mental health, just like we all have physical health. Turning towards and responding skillfully to your stress enhances your mental health. If stress is ignored, over time it can lead to mental illness, such as anxiety and depression.
Common Stressors
These are some of the common stressors for UNH students:
- Intellectual wellness: Academic pressures from self-imposed and external expectations, workload, deadlines.
- Social wellness: Desire to have connection with family, friends, peers, and faculty.
- Financial wellness: Concerns about work, expenses, student loans.
- Physical wellness: Coping with a chronic illness, not feeling well, not having energy.
We also feel stress about things we are excited about:
- Athletic game
- Performance
- Joy interview
- Starting a new semester
- Meeting new friends
What are your stressors?
Stress Symptoms
Knowing your symptoms of stress will help you understand how to respond.
Stress creates changes in your body and behavior. Just like we know the symptoms when we are getting a cold, we can learn to know the symptoms when we are experiencing stress. Knowing our symptoms creates opportunity to skillfully help ourselves.
These are some common whole-body symptoms of stress:
Physical
- Body tension
- Headaches
- Rapid heart rate
- Difficulty breathing
- Upset stomach
- Sweating or chills
- Acne
- Hair loss
- Difficulty with sexual performance
Cognitive
- Difficulty focusing and concentrating
- Problems with memory
- Unable to be in the present moment – thinking about the past or future
Emotional
- Worried
- Low mood
- Agitation
- Highly sensitive
- Easily agitated
- Overwhelmed
Behavioral
- Changes in sleep, movement, and eating patterns
- Increased substance use
- Social withdrawal or can’t be alone
- Not going to class and/or work
- Not caring for personal hygiene
- Increased zoning out on social media, shopping, pornography, gaming, gambling.
What are your common symptoms of stress? When was the last time you came into your relaxation response and what did it feel like?
Cope with Stress
Continually ask yourself, “what would be helpful”?
Coping Skills
You wouldn’t be in college if you didn’t have coping skills. Coping skills are things you do that help you get unstuck from stress so that you can find relief and move forward.
“Wellness Backpack”
When you go on a trip or hiking, your backpack is filled with a variety of tools you need to get through the trek. Trekking through stress is the same, you will need a metaphorical backpack of coping skills. What worked one day may not work the next; the more tools you have, the better.
Get Back to Basics
The body’s stress response uses a lot of energy and contributes to feeling depleted.
- Food fuels the body with nutrients to increase the energy needed to face each day. Food is also pleasurable, which is a good coping skill for stress.
- Sleep helps the body and mind recover so that you are more alert and emotionally prepared to cope with each day.
- Movement moves energy through your body and releases good stress hormones to help you feel more energized, motivated, and confident. Find body movement you enjoy.
Physical Wellness
- Relax your body by looking for a “progressive muscle relaxation.”
- Slow down your breathing looking for “breathing practices for stress.”
- Pay attention to how you may be using substances to help you relax. Although they feel good in the moment, when the high wears off your experience of stress will probably be worse.
- Masturbation is a pleasurable stress reliever that releases good stress hormones and is the safest sex there is.
- Wash your hands and don’t touch your face so that you can prevent colds and flu – because being sick will really stress you out.
Social Wellness
- Connect with social support in your family and friends.
- Set boundaries by saying “yes” to what would enhance your well-being.
- Practice assertive communication by clearly stating your needs while also respecting others.
- Seek professional help.
Intellectual Wellness
- Engage your brain in activities other than thinking about your stress or doing homework.
- Take a social media break, what we consume on social media can be toxic to our well-being.
- Think critically about the wellness information you learn online.
Occupational Wellness
- Take study breaks, your brain will be more focused when you come back to your work.
- Start studying, your homework isn’t going to do itself.
- Work towards balancing effort and ease in how you put your energy towards your occupational wellness.
- Give yourself permission to change your mind about your major and/or career.
- Utilize CAPS.
Emotional Wellness
- Pause and . Self-awareness helps make skillful choices.
- Ask yourself, what is causing me stress? What’s at stake?
- Recognize that you are “feeling stress” you aren’t stress.
- Remind yourself that stress is natural and doesn’t indicate something is “wrong” with you.
- Practice mindfulness of your body, emotions, and surroundings to help you stay in the present moment.
- Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same care you offer a good friend.
Environmental Wellness
- Clear away clutter in your home, backpack, car, etc.
- Spend time in spaces where you feel safe, valued, relaxed, productive.
Spiritual Wellness
- Go into the wild. Nature helps move your body to its relaxation response.
- Reflect on your to remember what is good in your life.
- Look around you and be in .
- Create or appreciate art.
- Pray.
Financial Wellness
- Do your research before buying anything you see online that promises fast health and wellness.
- Budget your funds and spending.
- Understand your needs vs. wants.
- Access UNH Basic Needs if you need help.
What are ways you care for yourself when you are stressed?
What was the last coping skill you deployed that helped you feel relief from your stress?
Your Relaxation Response
When coping skills are applied, your nervous system moves out of its stress response and moves towards its relaxation response:
- Effective coping strategies are implemented;
- Brain recognizes that it doesn’t need to focus on survival and safety;
- Stress hormones regulate;
- Heart rate decrease;
- Breathing slows;
- Muscles start to relax;
- Senses open to observe the totality of what’s around you;
- Your thinking expands so that you can take a larger perspective;
- Your body’s other systems (e.g., immune, digestive, reproductive) return to optional functioning because your resources are no longer going to your stress response;
- You feel a sense of relief, calm, and ease in your whole body;
- Your stress symptoms start lessening;
- You may feel tired, signaling that it is time to sleep.
Rumination in the Relaxation Response
It’s common in your relaxation response for your mind to to replay the stressful situation. This is your brain’s way of making meaning of your experience to prepare you for the next time you are faced with a challenge. Rumination about a stressful event, even if was a good stressor, like winning a game, is natural.
Adverse Life Experiences and Stress
Some of us have had more stressful lives and our nervous system has been in stress response for a longer amount of time. If this is you, know that you can retrain your body to come more easily into your relaxation response. This can be done by continual practice of coping skills and seeking professional help.
How do you know when you have moved out of your stress response and into your relaxation response?
Additional Resources
- Wellness at UNH
- Emotional Wellness at UNH
- How Are You — Really?
- Student organizations at UNH
- UNH Basic Needs
For more information about stress, please contact Dawn Zitney, Well-Being Educator/Counselor.
What is resilience?
Resilience is being able to turn towards your personal strengths to transform difficult or challenging experiences into learning opportunities. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. Each time you live through adversity, you learn something new about yourself and are more prepared for the next challenge you will face. Building resilience never stops.
You can learn to become resilient by paying attention to what is happening in your life and learning new skills and habits to help you cope with stress and challenges.
Being resilient doesn’t protect you from pain and suffering, but it can provide you better ways to respond so that you are able to face, overcome and be transformed from adversity.
"You can learn resilience. But just because you learn resilience doesn't mean you won't feel stressed or anxious. You might have times when you aren't happy - and that's OK. Resilience is a journey, and each person will take his or her own time along the way."1
Resilience Factors
These resilience factors will help you draw from your personal strengths to better prepare for, live through and learn from adversity.
- Trust
Trusting others and yourself is the foundation of being resilient. When you trust others, you let go of the need to control what other people do and say and instead focus on yourself. When you trust yourself, you feel better about you are and confident in the decisions you make. - Identity
Establishing your own identity based on what you value is vital to living through adversity. A sense of identity helps you know the limits of what you can and can’t handle and affirms your right and need to be your own advocate. Once you understand what you value, you are better able to make choices that align with who you are. - Independence
Having a sense of independence is empowering because you do not seek the approval or advice from others. You are comfortable in asking people for support but don’t expect them to solve your problems. Independence lets you take action based on your own needs, not the needs of others. - Relationship/Support Systems
Relationships can become more important when we are faced with difficult times. Relationships that are based on trust, respect and appreciation are vital to being resilient. Good relationships can decrease the feeling that you have to face life’s challenges on your own. - Initiative & Problem Solving Skills
It’s important to be able to recognize what your needs are and the steps needed to get them met. Moving into action and problem solving is vital in being resilient because it gets you unstuck. Being able to problem solve helps you learn to master the skills necessary to solve problems and also makes you more likely to share your thoughts and feelings with others, talk with others, use support systems (friends, family, professors, etc.), reach out for help and develop good social skills.
Develop a Resilience Plan
Taking a moment to reflect and develop an achievable plan will help you prepare, live through and learn from a difficult situation. These questions can help you begin to reflect.
Prepare for a difficult situation
- What do I think is going to be the outcome of this difficult task/situation?
- Who will be affected by this problem and how?
- What are the obstacles that I need to overcome to deal with this problem?
- Who should know about the task or situation?
- Who can I ask for help?
- What strengths do I have that I can rely on?
- What skills and knowledge do I need to use to get through this task/situation?
Live through a difficult situation
- How am I feeling today?
- Have I taken time to practice mindfulness and meditation?
- How are the other people involved handling the situation?
- What new actions need to be planned or taken?
- What is going well? What is challenging?
- Fill in the blanks. What resilience factors will you draw on as you live through the problem?
- I have...
- I can...
- I am....
Learn from a difficult situation
- What did you learn about yourself?
- What did you learn about your friends?
- What did you learn about yourself when you had to ask for help?
- Why was this a meaningful experience for me?
1American Psychological Association. Resilience for Teens: Got Bounce? Last accessed January 8, 2021.
Grotberg, Edith H. 2001. Tapping Your Inner Strength: How to Find the Resilience to Deal with Anything.
American Psychological Association. Building Your Resilience. Last accessed January 8, 2021.
Use these resources to help you build your resilience. Keep in mind that each person's journey will be different - what works for you may not work for others.